How Thick Is Your Skin?
Posted on Tue, Nov 29, 2011
This week I had an experience with a marketing firm that defies reality. Let this be a lesson to all of us. I had a wonderful face-to-face meeting with this marketing firm that I had planned on using and recommending to my readers. I was so impressed with their ideas and observations, and following our face-to-face meeting, I was convinced that the chemistry was just perfect. I even recommended the firm before signing any contract.
Our meeting was just about perfect with one small exception. They mentioned that the first phase of working together would require them to prepare an expensive and extensive plan. When they mentioned it at the meeting I bristled a bit because over the years I have been burnt by many companies which love to prepare plans but never seem to have them implemented. My recommendation was to implement some of the action steps and after a few months of a mutually profitable relationship where trust had been established, then I would invest in the expensive plan. Other than that the meeting was great.
I then received a written proposal outlining the plan which needless to say took me by surprise considering it was the only thing I objected to. I was terribly disappointed and called up to share any necessary changes. The principal of the company set up a time for a telephone conversation which was later canceled due to a doctor’s appointment. We rescheduled the meeting knowing that it would be taking place while I was driving. I even called in to let her know I was a little early. However, she sent me another e-mail again canceling the meeting. Of course I was driving and really didn’t get a chance to review my e-mails. At that end of the day I wrote and asked what had happened and questioned if they had decided to go in a different direction.
I received a curt response indicating an e-mail had been sent and was questioning why I thought she was untruthful. I wrote back and said if I thought you were untruthful I would not want to meet with you at all. I have learned over the years that when someone says “you can trust me” or “I am honest” or “I am truthful” they are typically the ones you should never ever trust. Why are they even thinking along those lines?
Then I finally have a telephone meeting with the principal of this company who gave another pitch for the expensive plan. I was starting to lose patience when she wanted to know what happened to my previous firm, which indicated that I was perhaps a problem account. I was more than a bit surprised but I stepped back and shared my philosophy on disagreements and how they are truly a healthy step in understanding and compromise. Ask any business person-- they will always share a story about how one of their best customers started out on a bad foot, but then went on to become one of their best and most loyal.
I actually forgave some of the principal’s sophomoric communication skills and I was willing to give this company an opportunity to do business with me and even with you. To my surprise I received a voice message saying that the company had decided to go in a different direction, which is what I had asked them a few days earlier. I only have pity for this company. As the expression goes “if it’s too hot in the kitchen, get out.” Difficult customers are still customers. Difficult people are still people. Difficult situations are opportunities.
Sometimes we have to make our skin a little thicker and don’t let the minutia of the day-to-day he-said-she-said trivia lose sight of the big picture. Because I disagreed I was no longer a prime prospect when in reality we were establishing a much stronger bond because of the conflict in the initial dealings. Always remember to keep your friends close but your enemies closer. It is much easier to deal with someone whom I have to be careful with every word than to deal with someone who I like. You work harder in making the deal and the deals tend to last longer. We dot every “i” and cross every “t.”
All things are for a purpose and I will be signing a contract with a firm that was more responsive to my needs and understanding of my concerns and my readers. I believe that every deal must be a win/win between two parties. Although the road is not always smooth, when two parties overcome obstacles and make things work, it makes for a stronger and long lasting relationship. Maybe the title of this article should have been Opportunities Lost but from my position it is a new door opening.