A Retailer's Christmas Wish

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t’s the week before Christmas and all through the store
There’s not a pleasant customer even close to the door.

Their nerves are shattered, their Christmas lists are tattered
And it’s the store clerk’s fault for everything that matters.

Merry Christmas to all is misery to some
Let’s not let some spoil our good fun.

It’s easy for us to see who’s naughty and nice
Can’t Santa take the naughty and we take the nice?

We better not complain, and sarcasm is so tempting
But we are the retailer, and cranky customers are really something.

Smiling takes its toll on Father Time.
Miserable customers steal our smiles, time after time

Is the customer always right? No way no how!
But they are the customer and to them we must bow.

Santa Clause himself could not please the masses.
But it’s getting more difficult to fit some of their asses.

What are we to do with Mr. CrankyPants and Mrs. Grumpy?
When they make demands that make the experience so bumpy?

But it’s Christmas, good will to all
Whoever wrote that never worked at the mall.

What is it that makes normal people turn?
Even Kris Kringle has a lot of concern.

So what’s the point of this rhymeless Rhyme?
It’s to be prepared for customers lurking behind.

They will say things like “Is that all you have?”
And you feel like saying, “Where were you when we had.”

“How much for me?” and “why is the price so high?”
Really get us a smack, right in the eye

When will it be marked down? Is another famous Christmas carol
That lately has been used by Ted, Alice and Carol.

“Can I get my money back?” or “Do I need a receipt?”
And you wonder why they focus on the negative rather than the feat.

We try not to lose it but often we do
Just know you are not alone, there are thousands like you.

So the next time that a customer asks for your manager dear
And you’re wearing a name tag and say “I’m right here”.

Just remember to smile and never cast a negative glance
Because that customer will tell all and take a stance.

Ah but it’s Christmas, the time for good cheer
So it’s time for our customers to look forward to the New Year.

Before the New Year comes and the ball falls
Where one week of returns and sales, when all the prices must fall.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Look forward for Next Year’s customers full of New Cheer!